***Submitted by Anonymous
I need help!!! I had not idea so many woman had a problem with drinking! Until a couple of days ago, I thought I was alone with this problem and every one else was coping with their lives just fine. I've been so very, very ashamed and confused why I can't stop.
I've been drinking wine, almost every evening, for almost 30 years.
I never drank as a teenager or young adult. It started when my (ex) husband left me and our three small children. I was an immature 28 year old RN, orphaned at 16, completely on my own and terrified.
I clearly remember the night my life changed. I was crying on the kitchen floor, had no idea how I was going to raise three children on my own and found some wine in the refrigerator. I had a glass of wine and immediately calmed down. I was able to sleep through the night for the first time since my husband left.
I've been drinking almost every night since, never involved with any trouble, do not drink socially and never drink and drive. My beautiful daughter does not like me drinking in the evenings and I don't blame her. She is concerned about me and loves me very much.
Now I drink because I'm single, very lonely, work too much (out of my home) and use it to help me on the terribly lonely and boring evenings I face every night. I know this is my making, but I want to change and need help. I don't seek a relationship because I think my drinking makes me broken and I don't want to be with a man who drinks, because I will get worse.
Thanks for listening