*** submitted by Anonymous
My last drink was 48 hours ago. I'm a full time nurse getting ready to complete my final semester of a nursing master's program. I've been a nurse for 20 years. I used to work on a drug and alcohol detox unit. I know what alcoholism is. My mother, brothers, grandparents, aunts, and uncles were all alcoholics. Alcoholism creeps up on you like the boogyman. I've been drinking for about 15 years. Daily wine (3-4 glasses/night) during the week, heavy vodka on Friday and Saturdays. I black out once per week. I don't treat my 3 children right when I'm drunk. My friends are beginning to complain about my behavior when I drink. And my husband, the angel, has had to spend many nights getting me home safely, cleaning me up, and reporting my antics the previous night that I could not remember.
It's getting too much. A couple of years ago, I fell in a hotel bathroom injuring my head and face and did not realize it until I woke up the next day and looked in the mirror. I have come to the realization that if I intend to complete my degree and continue having a successful career and intact family, I must stop. I've tried to fool myself too long, "I can handle it. I'm gaining so much weight because I'm peri-menopausal. I'm highly functioning-right?"
I have to save myself from myself. I am an alcoholic. I'm destroying myself, my family, and soon, my career. I want to stop before I lose everything. It took several years for me to get to this point of heavy drinking and I know I am in imminent danger of losing everything.