***Submitted by Anonymous
Oh my god how, HOW do I stop.
Every morning I think "I am not going
to have a wine tonight", I reinforce this to myself several times
through the day, I think about how I don't want to be a woman who
drinks, I think about how I want to feel well and present for my
children the next day and how I have things I want to get done after 6pm.
I think this all the way through to around 4.30pm
and then I think "god, id love a wine".. and then I argue with myself
about whether or not I am going to have one for another hour or so…and
then pour myself a wine.
Sometimes I only have one. Usually I have two or three or four…
sometimes I drink everything in the house. On those days I don't
remember what finally makes me stop, I don't remember anything the next
day and have to try and piece my evening together from the physical
clues. Where am I. What is the vomit on.
My husband has had to clean up vomit from the carpet. from the bed. from the toilet.
I have lost control in a drunken collapse in front of friends and in front of strangers.
I don't always drink that way - but sometimes I do and I never know
when I am going to.
Sometimes I only have one, or two or three. I keep
asking people, and they keep telling me they don't think I have a
problem... but I know that I do.
I have googled how to stop drinking, I
have been to see an alcohol counselor.
I think about stopping every
single day. But don't.
How, HOW do I JUST STOP?