Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Older Mom With Young Kids Looking for Help

***Submitted by Anonymous

I am 53 years old.  I love this site. I have been on and off it since reading about it in Redbook a few years ago.

I am the mother of a 15 year old daughter, and 4 ¾ year old twin boys.  All same husband.  The boys came along after many years of me getting pregnant, and always succumbing to miscarriage.

Now, here I am. 

I have these boys…  I love them dearly, but I am so old, I feel, that I cannot do them justice.  I am not into  this.   I drink to take away the  day to day craziness.  All my friends have kids in high school or college. 

Please help!!  Is anyone  out there in my shoes???

11 comments:

  1. Hi Anon, Yes I'm sort of in your shoes. I'm a 50 yr old functioning Heroin addict. Two boys (17 and 14) and a 5yr old girl that I can't keep up with! (single parent)
    I was an "drinker" pre-Heroin and I can assure you it's not so very different; it's all addiction, all to take away the day to day craziness and numb pain to a degree. To unwind of an evening and "cope".
    I hope you can break this habit. Just one day at a time. I think we both know that we might not feel so "old" in the morning after a sober/clean night or two . . . Or three!
    It helps me to know that I'm not alone, I hope it helps you.

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  2. I just found this site and read your post. I am planning to submit my own story here soon. I know just how you feel. I have 11yr old twin boys and an 18 yr old daughter. Staying home can be overwhelming. I too, drink way too much, just to cope with anxiety and dealing with life. I wish I had advice. I think Bugerlugs is right though, it does help to know that you aren't alone... and that people have gone through what you are going through. I hope we can both find some peace and a better way. Best of luck to you.

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  3. Yes,yes and yes-if you want to to talk-cyndi.martin@me.com

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  4. I am 46 years old with triplets. I have friends with older kids too. I drank until I was 42 so they were about 4 or 5 at the time. Just hang in there. It gets easier when they are in school for a full day.

    I thought I was going to lose my mind when they were younger. I, too, loved them very much, but I was tired all of the time and I felt I had no life and no energy.

    The drinking will change your perspective. As I slipped into a daily drinking pattern, my outlook got crappier and crappier. Alcohol is a depressant but it also metabolizes as a stimulant so it wakes you up at 3 am so you can lay there and beat yourself up and freak out until you manage to get back to sleep. So it really jacks up your body chemistry and leaves you feeling lousy and hopeless.

    I think it's really great that you shared instead of keepping things to yourself. Please keep sharing. You are NOT alone. xoxox

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  5. Our stories are similar and i too drank to take the edge off the craziness. I have 60 days. I went to a rehab and it changed my life. My community i thought would be judgemental threw support behind our family. Life is far less chaotic when your sober. I just had a crazy day with flooding in my house, sick kids and a deadline. It would have sent me over the edge. I managed what i could, let go of what i couldnt and slept peacefully that night. aa is not just about stopping drinking, its about learning to live your life without chaos. Your not alone. You will look back and be proud and grateful if you take the steps to recover now.

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  6. I quit drinking at 55 and will celebrate 4 yrs sober Sat. I drank to cope with raising my boys and to "live life". It is much easier to live life on life's terms without alcohol, I was exhausted, depressed and miserable. Every day is not perfect but it is doable in a content sort of way one day at a time. Love yourself, find sobriety any way you can ... you'll never regret it!

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  7. As you can see, you are not alone. I am 56 with 13 y/o twins and I often have the same thoughts about keeping up. It is easier now but still challenging. I like to think of myself as a youthful 56 :), but here I am, still 56. I have often said there should be support groups for older moms.
    Most of the previous posts focused on the alcohol and I echo that wholeheartedly. Not only does it rob you physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. It feels like it is helping you cope but really is sabatoging you and will get worse instead of better. There are many things I can advise about coping with your babies, but first, work on the drinking. It will be the first sign of relief, I promise you. Come over to the Booze Fee Brigade and get support and how to get started, if you haven't already. If you want to talk, email me at tthomas5310@yahoo.com. You really, really aren't alone.

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  8. Hey, I'm 53, too! Yay for fifties moms. I have a 13 year old with energy to spare. At night I'd start sipping wine around 8 and want everyone in my house (pets included) to just leave me the eff alone. It has gotten a lot better since I stopped drinking. I did not even realize the low level depression I'd had until it lifted about a week later.

    One of my biggest outlets for caring for myself has been going to AA meetings. Who knew?

    It really can get better, and if you start with getting sober, you will see rewards more quickly, I'd bet.

    Sue

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  9. GOOD LUCK-YOU WILL STAY SOBER ONE DAY AT A TIME! USE THE EMAILS ADDRESSES GIVEN TO YOU SO U HAVE MOMS TO TALK TO. I HAVE NO CHILDREN-BUT I KNOW ABOUT LONELINESS IN A CROWD. IT DOES GET BETTER-DON'T GIVE UP-YOU MADE THE 1ST STEP BY WRITING-KEEP WRITING HERE & TO OTHER RECOVERY SITES-EVENTUALLY YOU WILL BE SO BUSY ANSWERING PEOPLES EMAILS THAT YOU WILL FORGET ABOUT DRINKING ALCOHOL-OH DON'T KEEP ALCOHOL IN THE HOUSE!! GOD BLESS YOU!!

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  10. peace and blessing of god be on all I will try to give u the best answer if u reach back and turn to god in faith and fear only god and love god and ask god to purify your soul and repent from ur heart god will answer it could b 1day 1month but he will answer god said remember me and ill remember u u don't know how dangerous all is living never think ur safe u hav to worship god everyday remember ur never alone god is always there on the day of judgement u will b shown all u done what was for god faith is everything u can hav all the money material things look how unhappy its a dream god is the foundation faith and works this is fro a muslim man telling u topray to the almighty who created us u can ask all mankind to help they cant only god can help try to talk to him in ur prayers but u must give up the sinning alcohol adultery fornication backbiting gambling and all things u are ashamed of

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    Replies
    1. peace and blessing of god b on all its sad to see destruction it will not change until u change the devil has made us think were safe were not as long as u hav faith in god u can b victorious our great prophet jesus peace and blessing on him said if u hav faith of a mustard seed u can move a mountain they ask him what should we do to get to heaven he answer love my god and ur god with all ur heart honor ur mom and dad visit the sick feed the needy an d give of ur wealth ask urself did we do these most likely no so there lies the problem one of our great iman was asked why is GOD VIELd he reply GOD IS NOT VIELED u do not see him is due to the excess of ur sinswhich like a vielblinds ur heart to witnessing GOD WHEN ONE COMMITS A SIN A BLack speck appears on his heart if he disowns it and repents his heart will b purifiedbut if he repeatthe sin the spot spread overtakes the heart so don't wait repent from ur heart that answer why all these young and old are lost what we sow is what u reap remember pray directly to god dont judge religion by people I rather b the porest man and hav faith than to own the world people are too busy debating we forgot to do what god commanded us to do prohet NOAH PEACE OF GOD B ON HIM prohphetABRAHAMPEACE B ON HIM prophet MOSES PEACE B ON HIM prophet JESUS PEACE B ON HIM PROHPHET MUHAMMAD PEACE AND BLESSING OF God b on him taught us to worship GOD HE HEAR ALL PEOPLE ONE BEAUTIFUL QUOTE FROM OUR PROHPHET MAY ALLAH BLESS THEM ALL SAID GOD SAID AN WHEN MY SERVANT CALLS ON ME IM NEAR I COMPLY WITH THE CALLER WHEN THEY CALL ON ME SO LET THEM HEAR MY CALL AND WORSHIP ME ONE MORE IT SAID OH SOUL WHO DESTROY UR SOUL COME BACK TO ME FOR I FORGIVE ALL SINS MAY GOD BLESS U ALL WHATVER FAITH U ARE BESIDES SATANIST MAY GOD BRING THEM OUT OF DARKNESS DO NOT PERSIST IN UNBELEIF TRUST THERE IS A JUDGEMENT DAY

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