Monday, January 28, 2013

Wants To Love Herself Again - A 53 Year Old Wine Drinker Asks For Help

***Submitted by Anonymous

I am a 53-year-old wine drinker whose imbibing has exploded into full-blown binges. 

I have just gone through a massive transition in the last few months: moved to another state, beloved daughter graduated from high school and is in college,  my own parents are aging and beginning to drift into dementia.

I've always tried to avoid painful emotions, either through sex or food and now it has developed into alcoholism.

I am ready to pull myself in front of a mirror and say to my sad self:  "See, here you are - meet yourself. Love yourself.  Stop avoiding this poor woman."

I want to live an open, clear, clean sober life.

I want to make a contribution to this world.

I want to meet myself and get to know me.

Is it possible at this late stage?

I'm not sure whether I have hope or not - my mind is a bit fuzzy at this point!

Thank you for reading this.


  1. It is possible at any age. All you need is the willingness.

  2. Age is irrelevant. All it takes is desire and willingness to do what it takes. I'm 55 and have been sober almost 25 years. It's been a lifelong process of getting to know and love me. You couldn't have gotten to know yourself 20 years ago the way you can now. You couldn't have contributed to the world 20 years ago the way you can now. Getting sober is always a step forward.


  3. You Can Do It! You deserve to live and open, clean, sober life -- that's your unconditional right. It's not too late.

    I stopped drinking 93 days ago, a few weeks before my 52nd birthday, after 30+ years of full-on drinking. It is hard for sure, but the relief of starting to re-find myself, re-claim my life, and re-gain my confidence and hope is totally worth it. I have been getting most of my help and support by reading the sober community blogs; this might help you too.

    I can see a future full of fifty-something women, sober and strong, living the lives we really want, not stuck in the ruts we somehow landed in over the years. You are part of that future!

  4. It never matters what age you are. You are ready to do this! Remember, you can always start over, you can start your life over, you can start your day over. Just start it! Thank you for reaching out! ~Angel

  5. I quit drinking almost four years ago at the age of 68. You're never too old to get sober. Seize the day!

  6. Age is irrelevant to sobriety. Welcome to the new you--go for it, you'll see why soon. It takes only a few days to feel better, look better, smell food and kids better, eat and rest better...

    Come on, we'll help you, I promise.

  7. As I get older I am grateful for the calm that sobriety brings. You have the power to be whatever you choose - and each day you make that choice.

  8. A fellow sober blogger told me the other day, "If you can get sober, anyone can." Of course, she followed that with a "just kidding", but she wasn't. I am 50, almost 51, and I can't believe I have been sober over 500 days.

    But the thing is, I always knew it was possible, I read about other people that got sober, just like you are reading about us. We are all the same in our addictions, the addiction may manifest itself in different forms, but, no matter what form it takes, no matter how long it has been in charge of your life, no matter how big it is, it can be beaten.

    You can beat it. You just have to believe that.

  9. If others of us here can do it, YOU can do it, a day at a time. That's how I got to my five-month soberversary just a few days ago -- and I'm several years older than you are. If I could tell you just one thing that would encourage you to take the first step and NOT DRINK for a that first day, it's this: I have been amazed that it has not been nearly as hard as I feared, because the supports are everywhere. This site, and others. All the Bill W reading materials. And most of all, for me, the AA meetings where from day one I heard and saw people who were beating their addictions day after day and wanted to help me get that. I honestly believe that once you get a few days in, to the clearer and healthier place, you'll understand that it is worth everything to stay there. I hear what you are saying and know something of where you are: My dad died after a long decline into dementia, my mom is slowing down, my daughter is heading to college next fall...and you do NOT want to miss any of this, including the hard parts. It's your rich, complicated and ONLY life and you want to be present and clear for it. YOU CAN. I will keep you in my prayers.

  10. You can totally do it. I go to an AA meeting that is full of older women, some of whom stopped drinking a long time ago and some of whom stopped drinking when they were in their 60s or 70s. It is worth it! For me, AA has been a huge lifeline, not just for getting sober but also for learning how to go through real life with grace.

    1. Amen, A-women, AA ......... living life on life's terms and loving it!

  11. I got sober at 55 and one day at a time I'll be 60 in Dec. Many women do not cross the line into alcoholic drinking until late in life. Willingness is the key. Join us on the path, we're here and welcoming!