***Submitted by Steph K.
A note from the co-moderators: our policy is to post submissions chronologically, unless we get one from someone who is struggling with active drinking or new sobriety and needs to get support/feedback right away. If you have a submission in, it will be posted in the order it was received unless this exception applies.
I don’t like to use the term alcoholic to describe myself because it has such negative connotations with the general public.
Or…maybe its denial.
However, I fit the description to a tee. Today is another late night/early am filled with remorse, guilt, and shame, all by-products of alcoholism.
I have been to AA – had continuous sobriety for 7 or 8 months at most. I do not count the 9 months I was sober during pregnancy. I wouldn’t allow myself to harm my unborn child. Now that he is out of my body, do I think its okay to expose him to the type of drinking that scars people for a lifetime?
I know firsthand this typing of scarring, being that my own father is an alcoholic. It is absolutely not okay with me.
My precious son is only 9 months old. Ironically, today is January 18th and he was born on ApriI 18th.
Maybe today can be my new sobriety date – one that finally sticks.
Not saying I want to go to a rehab, but they won’t take me (covered by insurance) anyway. I haven’t been drinking steadily for days on end. I am a binge drinker. Apparently, a 3 day bender doesn’t count?\
I thought about posting this on my facebook page in an effort to de-stigmatize alcoholism. However, I don’t want to wear the Scarlett Letter A.
A for Alcoholic. Posting on the Booze Free Brigade is my best attempt.
For those of you who are like me and can go for periods of sobriety but then have hardcore binges – you may not want to call yourself an alcoholic… but… a wise person once told me that if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, talks like a duck…guess what…it’s a duck