Friday, January 4, 2013

My Disease Is Doing Push-Ups


***Submitted by Lisa 

My disease is doing push-ups and taking vitamins, just waiting…..

My name is Lisa and I’m an alcoholic.  Today I have been sober and in recovery for 444 days.  444 days, not 14 and half months, not almost 15 months.  

I was reminded of this earlier this week.  

I believe that the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous and working the 12 steps of recovery is my medicine in managing my disease.  I work a solid program and attend at least 5 meetings per week.  One thing that was taught to me early on in recovery was to start my day by asking for the strength to keep me away from a drink or a drug just for today.  (Drugs were not my thing, but alcohol was and any mind or body altering substance will lead me back to a drink).  At the end of the day, I was taught to thank my higher power for the day and ask to remove the phenomena of craving.  Easy enough.

I practice this ritual daily and am grateful that the daily craving was removed early on.  In fact, I recall a meeting months ago where someone was sharing that he couldn’t stop thinking about wanting a drink, drinking, or not drinking, all day every day.  I remember nodding my head with a sympathetic crinkle in my forehead, thinking, “I’m so glad that I’m passed that”.  

An "Aha" moment that leads me to my story, proving to me that this is a day at a time program.  I have a daily reprieve from my disease IF I am willing to do the daily work that goes along with it.

So, this past Tuesday I came home to prepare dinner after working two jobs that day.  My children are 14 and 15 and were home from school for two days due to hurricane Sandy.  They were on each other’s nerves all day and were bouncing off the walls by the time I came home.  I started dinner, chicken potatoes and veggies.  A standard fare at our house, probably served too often.  They both looked at each other and said, “Great, we’re starving and looks like we’re having a crappy chicken dinner”.  Then standing at either side of the room, with me in the middle, engaged in a screaming match using words that would make your skin crawl.  I yelled, “Hey!  Respect please!” and retreated to my bedroom to take a time out and change my clothes.

If you were watching a movie you would have seen a tired, frustrated mother taking a pause just sitting on the bed.  However, this is what was going on.  For a brief moment I could taste a familiar fruity oaky taste of some sort of white wine.  My chest warmed, remembering the feeling of what that first taste of alcohol does to my body.  A voice saying, “This will help, just settle the nerves”.  This voice sounded like the voice you hear coming from a scary movie, from the body of someone that is controlled by a demon and about to have an exorcism performed.  A stronger voice said, “NO!  You never have to have a day one ever again.  You have the tools, use them”.  This voice sounds like Glinda the Good from the Wizard of Oz.  A little dramatic, yes, but you get the point.

What the F@&# was that!!!  It was my disease in the corner doing push-ups and taking vitamins waiting for a crack, an opportunity to attack, stronger than ever.

I shook it off.  Scared to death.  

Called my friend, another alcoholic in recovery and told her the story.  I knew that I would do whatever it took to attend a meeting that night and I did.  My life depended on it.  I went to a discussion meeting that night and raised my hand and told my story.  Nothing out of the ordinary led to that moment, but it happened.  The fellowship of AA has given me the tools and in this case, the artillery necessary to fight my disease one day at a time.  This toolbox of mine includes writing about it, sharing my experience that might help another alcoholic that faces the same situation.  

So I made it through day 442 and hurricane Sandy safe and sound.
                                

10 comments:

  1. What a wonderful story of strength and perseverance. Bravo!!!

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  2. Thank you Lisa. x

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  3. Wow, I really needed to heat this today
    My disease comes in many forms, drugs, alcohol food
    One or the other is always trying to get me

    You show amazing strength x

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  4. Well done! I too will NOT have another day one. I am so envious of the support from AA. What do others suggest for women like me , I'm a professional in an Australian country town, it would be career suicide to go to a meeting here. Cath

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  5. MY NAME IS MRS GREGORY I WANT TO THANK TO DR UKPOYAN FOR MY LIFE TODAY NOW AM FREE FROM HIV. MY GOD WILL NEVER FORGET YOU HE WILL BLESS YOU FOR WHAT YOU DONE FOR ME AND MY FAMILY?

    I am really happy that i and my wife are cured of HIV with the herbal medicine of Dr ukpoyan, i have been suffering from this disease for the past 3 years without solution until i came across the email of this doctors who have cure so many people with his herbal medicine, i also chose to give him a chance to help me and my wife, he told me what to do and i kindly did it, and he gave us his herbal medicine and direct me on how to use, i also follows his direction for use and he ask us to go for a check up after 5 days and which i did, to my greatest surprise our result came out as negative, we are really happy that there is someone like this DR who is ready to help anytime any day.to all the readers and viewers that is doubting this testimony stop doubting it and contact this Dr and see if he will not actually help you. i am not a stupid woman that i will come out to the public and start saying what someone have not done for me. he is really a great man contact him now.dr.ukpoyanspellhome@gmail.com

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  6. HELLO, i want to share this wonderful testimony to the world as a
    whole in case there is some body in this same situation. i was
    diagnosed of HIV in the year 2009 until i meant testimony online by a
    woman with name Anita about a man called Dr Okoro , i was not too sure
    if it was real until i contacted him my self . I thought that there
    was never a cure for my deadly ailment but Dr Okoro told me that his
    herbs could cure me, and then i decided to give him a try, he then
    told me that once i start taking his herbs, that it will only take me
    some days to be cured, i believed him and took the herb with faith.
    after he gave me the medication, i took it and i was feeling some new
    signs in my body and i decided to go for a test and the result stated
    that i was HIV negative, i was very happy and even called my pastor
    and told him about it, i am very happy that i am now HIV negative and
    i am also happy that i will not be celebrating this Christmas as an
    HIV patient as i have did for the past 4 years, so help me say a very
    big thank you to Doctor Okoro for saving me from the hands of the
    deadly ailment. if you are also in this type of situation and you are
    seeking for solution, seek no more for you have received the right
    information you have been wanting for a very long time in this type of
    issues you are very free to contact Dr Okoro today through his private
    email: Drokorotemplt@gmail.com or call him on his mobile number :
    +2348051785597. i strongly believe that he will help you out just as
    he did mine, stay cool and God bless Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year
    in advance.

    email: DROKOROTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM

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  7. I live in California.This is a testimony i want to make.I was an HIV positive for 8 years taking anti retrovirus.As i was reading online some 5 months ago i saw a testimony on cure of HIV.I decided to give a try.Now as am telling you am very negative tested 4 times in 5 months after finishing mu cure.The cure is a pure herbs from Africa shipped to me through DHL.My cure took about 9days.Dear brothers and sisters if you are out there,please the cure is out and rush to have yours.If you are interested,email the researcher using dr.ukpoyanspellhome@gmail.com I will encourage every person who come across this mail to cure yourself if you are positive dr.ukpoyanspellhome@gmail.com

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  8. Join me celebrate for these great and perfect day which my lord God has done for using these great and powerful healing doctor called DR olufalaye to heal my sickness HIV/AIDS which has been choking me up for over 2years now without solutions, i have seek for solutions online, and through hospital, they keep on giving me orientations about drugs that can extend my years.now since Dr olufalaye has helped me to erased my disease out of my life, i we owe you greatly for healing me truly and i say big thank you DR olufalaye, you are truly God-sent. if you are out there passing through same difficulty, you can also contact him on his email on olufalayespellhome@gmail.com.

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  9. • MY HIV DISEASE WAS CURED BY DR NICE, WITH HIS HERBAL HEALING SPELL/ (drniceharbelhealinghome@gmail.com).DR NICE is the only Dr who could ever get my HIV-AIDS cured with his healing spell, I have tried almost everything but I couldn’t find any solution on my disease, despite all these happening to me, I always spend a lot to buy a HIV drugs from hospital and taking some several medications but no relieve, until one day I was just browsing on the internet when I come across a great post of! Michelle! who truly said that she was been diagnose with HIV and was healed that very week through the help of these great powerful healing spell doctor, sometime I really wonder why people called him DR NICE I never knew it was all because of the great and perfect work that he has been doing that is causing all this. so I quickly contacted him, and he ask me some few questions and he said a thing I will never forget that anyone who contacted him is! always getting his or her healing in just 6 hours after doing all he ask you, so I was amazed all the time I heard that from him, so I did all things only to see that at the very day which he said I will be healed, all the strength that has left me before rush back and I becomes very strong and healthy, this disease almost kills my life all because of me, so I went to hospital to give the final test to the disease and the doctor said I am HIV negative, I am very amazed and happy about the healing Dr NICE gave to me from the ancient part of Africa, you can email him now for your own healing too at :drniceharbelhealinghome@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete