I've been a "social" drinker since college - I'm 50. The last few years I've been drinking more and more. My friends and neighbors have no idea how much and often I actually drink (every night). A couple of years ago I started forgetting conversations I would have at night with my teenage children. In the morning I would ask them a question about whatever we had already discussed and they would say,"I told you last night". My response was; "Oh, that's right", and change the subject not knowing some key piece of information that I needed to know as a parent. There were many times that I didn't know they were going somewhere or needed some school supplies or a form filled out.
Recently I have started forgetting going to bed most nights. A couple of mornings my husband has said something referring to the night before (sex), and I have no memory of it (although I would never tell him that).
What has really started to scare me is that I have taken several bad falls in the last few months while drinking. The most recent, I was sitting outside with a neighbor having wine and I stood up only to fall face first on the street. I couldn't leave my house for a week.
My neighbor was shocked because she said I was talking perfectly normal before I stood up and she didn't think that I had that much to drink. The next day I called her and acted like I had no idea what happened to me that caused me to fall. Another time, I fell in my house and also hit my head pretty hard. There have been other falls as well.
I don't want to drink any more.
Everyone I know drinks in most situations. It seems like it's just what people do when they get together and their kids are older now - kind of like a "right of passage" after all those difficult years. But the biggest problem that I have is that my husband drinks - a lot. I don't drink as much as he does but he also doesn't know how much I "sneak" drink. That way, I can tell him how much he's drinking and how upset I am about it and I don't have to admit that I also have a problem. Even though he drinks much more than I do, he never falls or forget things. I'm worried that I won't be able to not have that glass of wine (or many) when he is having many himself.
I'm really afraid that something bad is going to happen and don't know how to stop it.