Thursday, October 4, 2012

The Miracle

***Submitted by NH

Today I feel like the world is spinning out of control.  

I have a gift today though, since working through the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, to know that it is my head spinning out of control.

I am loved and I can love.  

My daughter is tucked in bed and sleeping.  

I have a roof over my head and food on the table.

I have a strong network of sober women in my life and a sponsor to call.  

So what could really be wrong?

There are times when the lonely feelings creep back in.  They make me feel like I am alone in a room full of people.  They make me feel like I will be "single" for the rest of my life, with no one to share the goings on of busy life.  

They make me feel like I don’t have a voice, that maybe I am not good enough at what I do.

The miracle is that I don’t have to pick up a drink or a drug tonight. 

I don’t have to wipe out my feelings, the ones I can identify and those that lie underneath with anything.  I can ride the rest of this day out, utilizing the tools that I have to relieve my “pain” and wake up clear headed without guilt and shame tomorrow.

The only way I can do this tonight and any other night that the “lonely” strikes, is by remembering that I AM AN ALCOHOLIC. 

I have tried it my way.  It doesn't work. 

I am powerless over drugs and alcohol.  My life WILL become unmanageable if I pick up a drink tonight.  

I will not take this chance.  I am worthy of the life I am living as a sober woman right now. 

Tomorrow will be another day.

1 comment:

  1. I really appreciate your words, because I'm havinga crappy day, and although I don't feel like drinking, I want the bad feelings to go away. This is an affirmation for me that I'm an alcoholic who can't drink her feelings away, I have to feel them, know they will pass and know tomorrow will be another day.

    Thank you for this. Truly.