***Submitted by NH
Today I feel like the world is spinning out of control.
I have a gift today though, since working through the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, to know that it is my head spinning out of control.
I am loved and I can love.
My daughter is tucked in bed and sleeping.
I have a roof over my head and food on the table.
I have a strong network of sober women in my life and a sponsor to call.
So what could really be wrong?
There are times when the lonely feelings creep back in. They make me feel like I am alone in a room full of people. They make me feel like I will be "single" for the rest of my life, with no one to share the goings on of busy life.
They make me feel like I don’t have a voice, that maybe I am not good enough at what I do.
The miracle is that I don’t have to pick up a drink or a drug tonight.
I don’t have to wipe out my feelings, the ones I can identify and those that lie underneath with anything. I can ride the rest of this day out, utilizing the tools that I have to relieve my “pain” and wake up clear headed without guilt and shame tomorrow.
The only way I can do this tonight and any other night that the “lonely” strikes, is by remembering that I AM AN ALCOHOLIC.
I have tried it my way. It doesn't work.
I am powerless over drugs and alcohol. My life WILL become unmanageable if I pick up a drink tonight.
I will not take this chance. I am worthy of the life I am living as a sober woman right now.
Tomorrow will be another day.