Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Frank the Tank Is A Terrible Mother


***Submitted by Annika, who blogs at The Frustrated Mystic

I walk into a bar filled with high school friends on a weekend home for the holidays.

People are loud and jovial and just warming up. A high school buddy whom I love dearly comes up to me and says, with a wicked smile on his face, “Is Frank the Tank going to show up tonight?.” At this point in my life I have graduated from college and married my high school sweetheart and gone off to earn a Masters degree in a different city. From the outside I may appear to have my shit together but on the inside I am falling apart and my friend’s innocent comment hits a nerve. The problem drinking of high school and college days has followed me into my adult life. Frank the Tank is still alive and well. I laugh off the comment and order a drink.

For those unfamiliar, “Frank the Tank” is a reference to Will Ferrell’s character in the movie Old School. Frank shows up at a house party intent on not drinking and ends up hitting a beer bong which leads to Frank streaking through quad of the local college… alone. Here is the dialogue.

College Student: Anyway, come hit this right here. You need to hit this.

Frank:No, I appreciate it, but I told my wife I wouldn't drink tonight. 
Besides, I've got a big day tomorrow. But you guys have a great time.

College Student: A big day? Doing what?

Frank: Well, actually, pretty nice little Saturday.
We're going to Home Depot,
Buy some wallpaper,
maybe get some flooring.
Stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath
and Beyond, I don't know -
I don't know if we'll have enough time.

You know what? Give me that thing.
I'll do one.

Students in unison: He's gonna do one!
He's gonna do one! That's a talented man right there. 

Frank: That's what I'm talking about. Fill it up again!
God, that's good.
It's so good!
Once it hits your lips,
it's so good.

If you cannot tell from the dialogue, a middle-aged Frank is quickly swayed to change his plans and decides to have just one drink. Frank gets down on the ground to do a beer bong with a bunch of college kids. As soon as he finishes one, he stands up, claps his hands energetically and demands another. One sip of alcohol and it begins.

People who love me and desperately want me to be normal often ask, “why don’t you switch to water,” or “why not just have one or two and then stop.” Because I can’t. Believe me I have tried. I am Will Ferrell from Old School… except not as funny. Once alcohol touches my lips it isso good and everything else fades away. Everything authentically meaningful is gone and I’m in my own little world. I have no off switch. I just keep drinking until I “go to sleep” which is more accurately described as passing out. It’s hard to explain this to a non-alcoholic person.

My inability to stop drinking once I start coupled with complete emotional bankruptcy led me to stop drinking in 2006. I was sober for two years and they were two of the best years of my life. So good, in fact, that I was sure I wasn’t an alcoholic and could probably drink like normal people again. I was sure that Frank was long gone and in 2008 I tried controlled drinking. I found out very quickly that Frank was there the whole time, patiently waiting to return the minute I picked up a drink. It’s now 2011 and I am sober again.

In the three years I returned to drinking, I didn’t lose my job or house or husband or car. I didn’t try to kill myself or injure anyone else. Nothing really terrible happened externally but internally I was stuck. I was drowning in unhappiness and stagnation and becoming bitter about life and my relationships. The sick thing is that I was resigned to the fact that I would live a moderately dissatisfying life and keep alcohol as my constant companion. And then something happened.

I had a baby. Well, first I got pregnant. What a relief to not have to wrestle with drinking for 9 months. Then I had a baby and as soon as I started supplementing with formula at about 8 weeks postpartum, I was drinking with abandon. I was using my maternity leave to go on a bender. Waking up hungover. Waiting for her to go to sleep so I could get down to the business of drinking. Making sure my husband could carry her to bed or get up with her at night when I wanted to DRINK drink. The idea that the lubricant of alcohol makes life as a new Mom easier is a popular one. A glass of wine or beer with bath time and feeding and holding and playing and reading is nice. It takes the edge off. Five glasses of wine or ten beers… not so much.

I am so thankful that nothing happened to me or my baby when I was drinking on my maternity leave. I hit a bottom without anything really having to happen. I hit bottom when I realized I was opting for drinks instead of breastfeeding. I hit a bottom when I cringed at the sound of her crying in the morning because I was still hurting from the night before. I hit a bottom when I wanted to rush bedtime so I could pick up my drinking. After two months of somewhat heavy drinking, when I looked at her and hugged her and loved her, I felt like I couldn’t get close enough. Alcohol had created this wax paper film between us. I was doing all the things a mother does and I loved her absolutely but I was not present and I was not the mother she deserves. I am so grateful I am sober today.

I didn’t think Frank the Tank would follow me into the world of motherhood and parenting. But sure enough, there was Frank suggesting that a drink would be good at the end of a long day at home alone with an infant. That first drink was so good when it hit my lips and warmed up my body and relaxed my senses and made me playful with my baby girl. I didn’t allow myself to acknowledge that not only did alcohol numb my senses, alcohol numbed my experience of being a mother and my daughter’s experience of me. 

I will always have to live with the fact that for the first four months of my child’s life, Mommy was home but the lights were not on.

 Like I said, Frank the Tank is a terrible mother.

I’m sorry Frank, but this is a final farewell.

25 comments:

  1. I loved this post! So wonderful. You describe the obsession so well, and also the glory of life in sobriety. Love love love it.

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  2. So beautifully written, and I SO understand the not having an off-switch! Best to you!

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  3. So heartfelt. I loved this post too. I went back and forth many times too. Life sober is soooooo much better!!! Thanks for sharing your experience.

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  4. Thank you so very much for this very very timely post! I have a one year old and have battled much like you have over the last year. I have headed to AA and have a sponser etc.. BUT i am heading on a camping trip / vacation (first one in a year) and I keep contimplating drinking, But I feel so torn. Being completly sober these last 6 weeks with my daughter has been so amamzing and full of connection and I am filled to the brim with Honor to her mom Sober!
    I printed this out and am putting it in my purse to read when I am tempted!
    thank you from the depth of my mothering being!
    xoxoxox

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  5. You could be an author, very well written. Maybe you should write a book? Very talented. Thanks for sharing your story, it helps ALOT.

    God Bless

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  6. Thank you, thank you, thank you...I so needed to read this. I have been sober 1 year and while not really considering going back to drinking, (I am one stage before end stage in my opinion) I needed a reminder. It is not hard for me to remember the hangovers, or the withdrawals, I lived with them for so long, what I needed a reminder of is how much happier my life is now and how even in the times I was able to moderate, I wasn't able to "feel" the happiness I feel now.

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  7. This was just beautiful. As a daughter raised by an alcoholic mother, who, like you, loved me deeply but was never fully present, even when sober, I want to tell your adult daughter just how deep her mother's love was and is for her. She is so fortunate to have you while she is innocent enough to forget.

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  8. I don't know how to start am just so happy,We are planning on bringing this great man dr ikuku to the Usa,Because he has brought happiness to us into the United state or America,Now we don't need to go far or fall victims in the hands of those fake spell casters who are online to add pain to people pains,Well am Jackson form the united state of America,(Washington Dc)After my wife left me for good 2years without hearing from her,Until one day i was reading a magazine then i read the back page and say a lady who talked about dr ikuku,i was shocked and said so this man has really gone far in our country everywhere you go is ikuku ikuku,i was like its high time i contact this man and share him with my problem i collect his details,And gave him a call and i shared him with my problem,He laughed and said that not a problem,That he would bring back my lover back to my arms within 24hours,i was how is that possible?He said i should not mind that i would surly hear from her by morning,Before in the money after like 17hours,i got an email from my wife begging me and also sent me a video feeling bad,i was so happy i was doubting then i told her to come over to the house which by morning my lover came back in tears,i was so happy and i cuddle her and she told me how she loves me and promises never to leave me for any reason in this life,Now my wife is with me and she loves me more than anything on this earth on this happened due to the help of this God sent call dr ikuku,Please friend dr ikuku is a man to fall unto for help he has surly brought happiness into our great country,You can contact him on his private mail ikukutempleofsolution@gmail.com or cell Number +2348034458597

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  9. My name is cheney from uk. I never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to Africa in February this year on a business summit. I meant a man who’s name is DR.EGOGO he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is egogotemple@yahoo.com

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  10. my name’s Cynthia i want every one on this site or forum to join me thank this DRcafaispiritualtemple@gmail.com for what he just did for me and my kids . my story goes like this i was married to my husband for 5 years we were living happily together for this years and not until he traveled to Italy for a business trip where he met this prostitute who be witched he to hate me and the kids and love her only so when my husband came back from the trip he said he does not want to see me and my kids again so he drove us out of the house and he was now going to Italy for to see that other woman. so i and my kids were now so frustrated and i was just staying with my mum and i was not be treating good because my mama got married to another man when my after my daddy death so the man she got married to was not treating i and my kids well so i was so confuse and i was searching for a way to get my husband back to me and my kids so one day as i was browsing on my computer i saw a testimony about this MAN DR CAFAI of cafaispiritualtemple@gmail.com shared on the internet by a lady and it impress me too so i also think of give it a try at first a was scared by when i think of what me and my kids are passing through so i contact him and he told me to stay calm for just two days that my husband shall be restored to me and to my best surprise i received a call from my husband on the second day asking after the kids and i called Dr CAFAI and he said your problems are solved my child so this was how i get my family back after a long stress of brake up by an evil lady so with all this help from DR CAFAI of cafaispiritualtemple@gmail.com i want you all on this forum to join me to say a huge thanks to DR CAFAI and i will also advice for any one in such or similar problems or any kind of problems should also contact him for help Good bye

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  11. If this is a dream believe me i don't wish to wake up,After 10years relationship with my lover Tom Walker he just decided to have a divorce with me because he was having an affair with another lady and the lady told him to break up with me so she can come and took my position when Tom told me that he was no longer interested that he is tired of me i was like after 10years now you are tired of me so the next thing was a letter from the lawyer saying Tom said he needs a divorce when i saw the letter tears rushed out of my eye i composed my self and said wow this world has around turned round against me.So i decided to try all my possible best until one day when i was listen to the radio where i saw people giving testimony how there divorce was cancelled within 24 hours i was like this is same problem am having i just say people testifying in the name of this great man called Dr sabo for what he has done for them how he has helped them to bring back there lover i waited for the problem to finish and they dropped Dr sabo cell number and email,Immediately i gave dr sabo a call and shared my problem with him he just told me not worry that he assures me that Tom will tell the lawyer to cancel the divorce within 24 hours really what Dr sabo said came to past within the 24 hours was a call from tom crying that he his just coming from the lawyers office that he does not need a divorce anymore that he wants me back home that he his sending that lady away so when he said that i was so happy now Tom came home brought all document and told the lawyer that he his willing everything to me and that he wants me to be the right owner of everything he owns i was so happy,I bless the day i meant dr sabo meeting him was never a regret please clean your tears dr sabo is here to solve your problem you can contact him on umasabotraditionalhome@gmail.com or cell number +2348154364072
    Name:Jasmine Berries Country Canada

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  12. OMG,i think am the most happiest woman on earth cause my dream has come to past, with the help Dr okpa who made it possible for me, i was in love with Martino for 3 years we were living happily and in love, so a friend of mine came from Canada to visit me,so after the visit she went back, then i never knew she was having affair with my love,and during this period i was pregnant for him, he no longer cares for me and never come back home ontime, not knowing that my friend never went back to Canada she was in a hotel were my lover do go and see her every evening, i was in pain cause he never cares about me any more then i told another friend of mine how my love is now acting,so she told me not to worry that she will try and figure out were my love do goes every time after work, so their was a day this my friend called me and told me that she is at a hotel now that i should come and that was how i went and i saw him with Luanda my friend that came to visit me all the way from Canada, when i saw this i fainted,and the most surprised part was that my love did not see it as anything instead he shouted and that was how he never came back home he never called me again and he sent me money and a letter saying that i should go and terminate the pregnancy, that was the last message i heard from him, but i did not do so i gave birth to the child and luckily he was a boy,so i have been trying to get him back to my life for years till i came in contact with this great man name dr okpa who help me, he told me that the lady casted a spell on him, and that i have nothing to worry about that my love will come back to me within 24hours, i was like hmmmm, ok let me watch and see, surprisingly my love hat have not called me for years called me and was pleading and begging me to forgive him that he never knew what came over him, that he will be coming tomorrow to come and see me that he will never ever do anything that will hurt me again in the rest of his life, i was surprised and short of words tears of joy feel from my eyes, and the next day he came and was still pleading and he saw his son he cried, and that was how we lived together and now we are happily married and he bought me a new car and now we have moved to a better apartment were we are living happily together. all thanks to dr okpa for helping me and bringing back happiness into my life, if you want to thank Dr okpa you can contact him via okpatempleofsolution@gmail.com or cell number +2348056563186 Roseline from United state of America.re we are living happily together. all thanks to dr okpa for helping me and bringing back happiness into my life, if you want to thank Dr okpa you can contact him via okpatempleofsolution@gmail.com or cell number +2348056563186 Roseline from United state of America.

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  13. i just want to share my experience and testimony here.. i was married for 6 years to my husband and all of a sudden, another woman came into the picture.. he started hailing me and he was abusive..but i still loved him with all my heart and wanted him at all cost?then he filed for divorce..my whole life was turning apart and i didn't know what to do..he moved out of the house and abandoned the kids.. so someone told me about trying love spell that she use to get back her husband.and introduced me to a spell caster called dr Awase?so i decided to try it reluctantly..although i didn't believe in all those things? then when he did the special prayers and spell, after 2days, my husband came back and was pleading..he had realized his mistakes..i just couldn't believe it.. anyways we are back together now and we are happy..in case anyone needs this man, his email address Awaselovespell@yahoo.com his spells is for a better life. again his email is Awaselovespell@yahoo.com website: marriagesolution.webs.com

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  14. I just wanna say thanks for this blog, it's been helpful to me and also thank dr. wicca who restore my relationship with the woman i fell in love with 7 years ago. Since the break up which was 6 months ago because her friends around were speaking against me or against our relationship. I miss her dearly so i ask dr. wicca for help because she is a special woman to me..
    I am currently back with my wife and this is because dr. wicca help me restore my relationship and i'm here to testify to his work... Lastly, Monday is our anniversary, if not for dr. wicca that would have be miserable for me. It never too late to contact him 24/7 line for the emergency rescue of your life.... +2348097350565 or dr.wiccahightemple@gmail.com

    I'm Ivan ----- from United Kingdom

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  15. When I married my husband I was already pregnant and so I didn't have a job. He had a really good job though so I was able to stay home and take care of our son when it was born. When we had our second child we moved to a bigger house, but then strange things started to happen. Things would fly off the walls and doors would slam at night. Our oldest son talked about seeing figures and hearing voices. We consulted a medium and they said the house was haunted. After living there about a year more with only minor occurrences we moved out. That was when the bad luck started to happen. Everything started to fail, with my husband's job, our money and our luck in general. I went back to the same medium and they told me that a spirit had followed me and placed a curse upon me for disturbing it and not being respectful in the previous house. He tried to remove it but was unable. The misfortune kept going on and getting more severe as I tried to search out someone to break the curse. But when I found Dr.(Azonto) spell he finally did it. Things started turning around almost immediately after he cast the spell and have been great from there! This was really a miracle for us, thank you . (azontotemple@yahoo.com) spell from the bottom of my heart!
    Posted by. Miss Sandra Chali

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  16. Hello everybody, my names is Cindy Davis Am from Canada i want to give thanks and honor to Dr.ATILA for the great work he did for me, he brought my lover within 24 hours which i never taught it will ever come through in my life, but this great man Dr. ATILA proved to me that powers can do wonders, i got his contact from a friend in the USA who he helped, this friend of mine told me that this man is great but i felt as hmm are you sure? cause i hardly believe those kind of things,so she told me not to worry that when i contact him,atilahealinghome@yahoo.com that he is guaranteeing me 100% that my lover will come back that if it does not work that she will be the one to give me back my money, to show her sincerity to me, she gave me her car that if it does not work that and she did not pay me the money that i spent that she i should collect her car and she gave me all the documents, i was so so surprised she was very serious about it so that was how i contacted him and i told him what i want he just told me that everything will be done within 24 hours so with the assurance my friend gave me i was having confident, so in the next 24 hours that he told me i just heard a knock on my door i never knew it was mark, so that was how i opened the door the first thing he did was to go on his knees, he started begging me to forgive him that he is very sorry for everything, i was really surprised and was also happy, so that was how i forgive him and now we are living together happily than ever before, and am using the media to invite my friends on my wedding which will coming up on 30/10/2013, am very happy thanks be to Lucy who gave me his contact and honor be onto Great DR. ATILA who helped a lot, if you need his help or you want to thank him for me you can contact him through atilahealinghome@yahoo.com or cell number +2348169457829

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  17. If this is a dream believe me i don't wish to wake up,After 10years relationship with my lover Tom Walker he just decided to have a divorce with me because he was having an affair with another lady and the lady told him to break up with me so she can come and took my position when Tom told me that he was no longer interested that he is tired of me i was like after 10years now you are tired of me so the next thing was a letter from the lawyer saying Tom said he needs a divorce when i saw the letter tears rushed out of my eye i composed my self and said wow this world has around turned round against me.So i decided to try all my possible best until one day when i was listen to the radio where i saw people giving testimony how there divorce was cancelled within 24 hours i was like this is same problem am having i just say people testifying in the name of this great man called Dr sabo for what he has done for them how he has helped them to bring back there lover i waited for the problem to finish and they dropped Dr sabo cell number and email,Immediately i gave dr sabo a call and shared my problem with him he just told me not worry that he assures me that Tom will tell the lawyer to cancel the divorce within 24 hours really what Dr sabo said came to past within the 24 hours was a call from tom crying that he his just coming from the lawyers office that he does not need a divorce anymore that he wants me back home that he his sending that lady away so when he said that i was so happy now Tom came home brought all document and told the lawyer that he his willing everything to me and that he wants me to be the right owner of everything he owns i was so happy,I bless the day i meant dr sabo meeting him was never a regret please clean your tears dr sabo is here to solve your problem you can contact him on umasabotraditionalhomes01@gmail.com
    Name:Jasmine Berries Country Canada

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  18. I’m Mercy brown by name I have a few testimony to share with you all about myself, I was in a relationship with this guy and for 3years and we were about getting married when we both have misunderstanding with each other and he ask me for a divorce and we both agreed and after 4months I head that he was having an affair with one of my closest friend and I was very upset and worried so a friend of my advice me and told me if I still love my ex and if I really want to have him back so I told her yes, and she ask me to contact Dr. Madurai the spell caster and I did although I never believe on spell so he gave me something when he was casting the spell and ask me to say my wishes on it and after the casting of the spell a receive a phone call from my ex and was ask me at which I did and now we are back together again I’m so happy and I wish not to ever have this mistake again in my life. I will also advice anyone with this kind of issue to contact him for help he is really nice on phone and always there to answer you question giving you the good advice that you need. his email is maduraitemple@yahoo.com

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  19. I’m Mercy brown by name I have a few testimony to share with you all about myself, I was in a relationship with this guy and for 3years and we were about getting married when we both have misunderstanding with each other and he ask me for a divorce and we both agreed and after 4months I head that he was having an affair with one of my closest friend and I was very upset and worried so a friend of my advice me and told me if I still love my ex and if I really want to have him back so I told her yes, and she ask me to contact Dr. Madurai the spell caster and I did although I never believe on spell so he gave me something when he was casting the spell and ask me to say my wishes on it and after the casting of the spell a receive a phone call from my ex and was ask me at which I did and now we are back together again I’m so happy and I wish not to ever have this mistake again in my life. I will also advice anyone with this kind of issue to contact him for help he is really nice on phone and always there to answer you question giving you the good advice that you need. his email is maduraitemple@yahoo.com

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  20. My name is Lamis Ghazali i am from United States, I was i a relationship with Ben and we loved and cherished ourselves for 6 good years and every thing was going on smoothly but February 14, a day i can call a lovers day we both had misunderstanding because i answered a call from a guy that is asking me out for a date but i refused,and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and i begged him because i love him so much but he refused me i was so down cast and i felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a Dr OSIAN that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back,a good job and favor in any of her endeavor but at first i was scared but i have to give this man a trial because i love Ben very much and i am not willing to loose him to any woman,so i ordered returning my love spell from this great spell caster that made me a happy woman again to say it all my ex is came back to me with much love and a caring heart...i am testifying to this great Dr OSIAN of Goddess. if you need his help you can contact him on osianspelltemple@yahoo.com



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  21. My name is Sharon Johnson and i want to testify of the good work done by a faithful Dr uko a spell caster. in my life i never thought there is such thing as spiritual intercession. my problem started nine months back when the father of my kids started putting up some strange behavior, i never knew he was having an affair outside our matrimonial home. it dawn on me on that faithful day 19th of April 21st 4:23pm when he came to the house to pick his things that was when i knew that situation has gotten out of hand and he then told me he was quitting the marriage which i have built for over five years, i was confused and dumbfounded i called on family and friends but to no avail. two months after i started having problem with my kids welfare rent-age and all of it, i really went through hell. until a day i was browsing on the internet and i happen to meet a spell caster i never believed on this but i needed my man back so i gave the spell caster my problem at first i never trusted him so i was just doing it but you know a problem shared is half solved after a week my husband called me telling me that he his coming back home and that was all. now we are living happily and i still do contact him on this email:ukospelltemple@yahoo.com

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  22. My Name is TRACY, From United Kingdom. I wish to share my testimonies with thegeneral public about what this woman called
    Zona has just done for me , this woman has brought back my lost husband,with her great spell, I was married to this
    man called Steven we were together for a long time and we love each other but when I was unable to give him child after 2 years,he
    left me and told me he can't continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told
    me about this woman. My friend gave her email to me and asked me to contact her but I didn't want to cos I doubted at first but later reconsider cos it's so rear for a woman to be as powerful like she said. So I contacted her through this email
    (zonaspellshrine@gmail.com) You won't believe this when I contacted this Woman and told her my problems she casted the spell and my ex came back begging on his knees and asking me to forgive him. Not only that after a month I missed my monthly flow,when I went to my doctor,he confirm that I am pregnant so I told my self that I will testify to the whole wide world about the wonders of this powerful woman if I give birth successfully. I am so happy today cos I am a mother of a bouncing baby girl,thank you once again the great zona for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through any of this problems listed below:

    (1) If you want your ex back.
    (2) if you always have bad dreams.
    (3) You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4) You want women/men to run after you.
    (5) If you want a child.
    (6) You want to be rich.
    (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be
    yours forever.
    (8) If you need financial assistance.
    (9) How you been scammed and you want
    to recover you lost money

    contact zonaspellshrine@gmail.com. She is really powerful and reliable,a trier will convince you.

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  23. Last year I broke up with my girlfriend due to many misunderstandings and I remember very well how hard I had been fighting to get her back. She changed her number, changed her job so that I don’t visit her office and none of her friends would give me any information about her. The only thing I could do was to go find help from anywhere, so i looked for a way to get her back then a friend recommended me to contact him +2348072371282 through his us number or email him dr.kumalovespell@gmail.com that he will help me and as my friend said, dr.kuma helped me to bring back my girlfriend just in 3 days, I now have her back and this is the biggest joy of my life

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  24. Am Joyce Andrew I want to thank Dr. Ekpiku for getting my lover back to me within 48 hours. When my lover left me i was so tired and frustrated till i search the internet for help and i saw so many good talk about Dr Ekpiku of Ekpikuspelltemple@live.com and i decided to give him a try and i contact him and explain my problems to him and he cast a love spell for me which i use to get my husband back.If you want to get your lover back contact Dr. Ekpiku via email: Ekpikuspelltemple@live.com Dr. Ekpiku the great man that is able to bring back lost love

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  25. Hi ogbefispell@gmail.com

    I would like to thank you very much for your help my husband came back to me last Friday and we are very happy. Is there anything else I need to do to help the spell.

    I would like to thank you again you are brilliant and I will be ordering a money spell off you

    Thank you so much
    Michaela

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