Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Take away a girl's dancing shoes and she will find a pair of stiletto boots



Submitted by Julie, who blogs at Sober Julie Doing Life, and who is checking in from a family vacation at Disney to watch her post go live!

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Dancing shoes, you say?? I say YES!!!
Don't all women have a favorite pair of shoes? I certainly did. They changed over time but irrelevant which pair they were, whether they were the red sexy strappy shoes or my black high heeled boots I just felt FABULOUS in them. I may not have been able to get an instantly flat tummy but my butt certainly got an inch higher !

My girlfriends would come by for pre-girls' night out drinks and we would get ready while sipping away. These girls' nights generally consisted of the pre-party, then onto a bar, where we would dance the night away and feel like we were 20 again. I was always running late, everyone knew that if we had called a cab for 10 they would have to get me moving at 9:50 because I'd be chatting, with a bowl of red wine in my hand and no clue of time. So off I'd rush, funk out my hair, makeup applied, clothes thrown on and run to the front door.

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The truth: SECURITY BLANKET.
Where were my boots? Which ones hubby would ask....and in a voice which only he can possibly do to perfection (mocking to say the least)...."yur dancin' shoes?? On the evenings when the pre-party was short I could sometimes find these special items myself, but more often than not hubby would produce them from thin air after I searched for what seemed an hour. RELIEF. Now I could be "myself" and dance up a storm.

How is it that I couldn't dance without the boots? Isn't that the question of all time? I had a million reasons to get evil when I couldn't find my footwear of choice: soles stick to the floor, they don't show off my calves well....on and on. 

Simple.

Whatever worked for me became a security blanket, one which I could hide behind. For me and dancing it was the shoes, at least a bottle of lovely Shiraz and some great friends. Actually, I was like that with footwear in general, for important business meetings there were certain shoes or boots exclusively for the occasion. Hmmm.... looks like my need to be a chameleon branches further than I thought.

My point is that during sobriety I've often felt like I've lost those dancing shoes. I've been discovering who I am and re-evaluating my priorities. This isn't easy AT ALL. I am coming to accept that I'm not always going to be the life of the party, that in fact I'm pretty quiet. I enjoy people and fun but I take life pretty seriously for the most part. I enjoy other's company and discussions more than I need the spotlight. I love to see others laugh, to know that someone is happy or enjoying life. Amazing that by becoming humble I am realizing that I'm OK. Pretty spectacular, really. Well, most days. 
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God is like what a pair of stiletto boots was to a night out.
Weird to put my Lord and creator in the same sentence with stilettos but hey, it's a good analogy for me. The feeling of security which I used to find through other things is a constant feeling now in my life. I know that life's difficult, that feeling all these emotions is tough, uncomfortable and icky but that God gave me the tools to get through the b. s. 

So today I raise my glass of plenty to God, and thank Him for my Armor of God, which feels better than any boots I ever owned!

Ephesians 6:13
Therefore, take up the full armor of God, that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.

3 comments:

  1. I was talking a little about this last night..... needing to 'sit' with my feelings instead of drinking them away when I first got sober. Having to learn that indeed I would make it out alive, make it thru whatever the situation was....

    Great Ephesians verse!

    I also like:
    "But this precious treasure- this light and power that now shine within us- is held in a perishable container, that is, in our weak bodies. Everyone can see that the glorious power within must be from God and is not our own. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed and broken. We are perplexed because we don't know why things happen as they do, but we don't give up and quit." 2 Cor 4:7-8, TLB

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  2. those boots are killing this grey bearded preacher..

    LOL

    Be blessed
    Brother Frankie

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  3. Hang in there. You don't need those boots any more. You're going to be able to dance barefoot!

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