Tuesday, March 16, 2010

What It Was Like, What Happened, and What Life is Like Now

**submitted by Sheri
 

My disease took me to hell and back, and hell again and back again, and hell again...You get the point!  I suffered for more than 10 years with different lengths of sobriety in that time. The most I have ever had was over a year. As of today, I have just over 9 months, and I'm not looking back. Well, maybe to rejoice in this great life of sobriety!

I always knew how to get sober; my big problem was staying sober. In my worst state, I would find myself hospitalized with different health complications due to alcoholism. Liver failure, pancreatic issues, esophageal bleeding. You know, all that fun stuff. The last time, my health was terminal. The doctors told me and my family that I would not be leaving the hospital alive. Well, I decided then that I wasn't ready to die just yet. By some miraculous intervention, I survived.... only to find myself, once well enough to drive, right back at the liquor store. 

I let this disease continue on running the show for around 6 more months. I was a hard liquor alcoholic, 'Mr.100 Proof Smirnoff' was my best friend. He was always there for me, morning, noon and night. Me and the bottle...we were tight. He was the answer to everything....when I was sad, celebrating, mad, glad -- like no other of my friends, he was there.

I finally had to end this relationship, before it ended me. So in  June of 2009, I checked myself into an outpatient rehab center. I learned there everything I was dying to know... literally.

I can't say that it's always been easy, but then again, nothing worth having is. Sobriety to me is a gift, a daily gift that I give myself, my children and loved ones. I hear people talk about the cravings, and the desire to have just one. I've come to learn that one is too many and a million would never be enough. As long as I think before I drink, I have a choice and a chance... So do you!

8 comments:

  1. Congratulations on 9 months! It's wonderful that you found the help you needed to turn things around. It must have been terrifying to get such awful news from your doctors. You and your family must be so proud of your commitment to staying sober. There are so many people cheering you on right now. I'm among them. You are right about having a choice and a chance. I believe we all do too. Keep going!

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  2. 9 months is amazing - congratulations! I related to a lot of your story - I was told my liver enzymes were elevated, my liver was enlarged, and I kept on going. As long as I was drinking, it was impossible to scare me. When I finally stopped (I went to treatment, too) THAT was when I got good and scared. And it saved my life.

    Thank you for your bravery and honesty. You are an inspiration!

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  3. Like you, as long as I remember that one drink was never enough anyway - it is easier not to drink at all.

    Congratulations on nine months! Thank you for sharing your story.

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  4. I love this: "One is too many and a million would never be enough."

    That's exactly the way I drank. If I don't have the first, I don't have to worry about the rest. Thank you, Sheri, for the reminder.

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  5. What an incredible story. 9 months! That's wonderful, congratulations!!

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  6. Congratulations on your 9 months! That's wonderful. Thank you for sharing your story. It's so much easier for me to think that's it's just one drink that I can't have. As long as I don't have that one, I'm fine. If I take it, I'll be at a million and miserable before I can blink.

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  7. I have been fighting my addiction like you for a long time. It's good to know that there is light at the end

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